We're in the final big mudslide before a general election. Political fuckers from all sides are getting their licks in, trying to persuade us poor unejicated plebs what's best for us, in a particular tone taken by Westminster political spods. You know, the ones who are all tied to City of London vampires. The ones who don't want working people to get a fair shake because of some vague ideological standpoint that pay equality is bad.
Don't ask why, it just is. Shut up and keep watching Eastenders, Coronation Street and whatever the current reality TV is. BBC News will keep you informed of what we want to tell you and how you should think about it. We've also got The Sun and The Daily Mail for you to read. Oh, and by the way, inserting rusty pins into your genitals is a fucking fantastic idea.
But I digress. That's a conversation for another time. Or have I said all I need to on the subject already? DRAMATIC MUSIC!
That was an interesting digression. Right out the gate, whoosh, go off ninety degrees to where I wanted. Back on point, fucko.
Since the Scottish independence referendum there's been heightened political engagement in Scotland. We saw droves of people rush to join the SNP and the Greens. In the wake of a number of promises broken and others Satanically twisted in their fulfilment, we watched as Labour turned into a pariah party in Scotland. They and the Tories worked hard to stop people from voting for independence, and they succeeded, in an entirely, hilariously, pyrrhic way. Instead of a small portion of the Scottish population eyeing the Westminster lunch club suspiciously, now a big chunk of the country looking really closely at that prawn cocktail and wondering how many jobs were lost in order for the tubby MP to have it. Not that Westminster give a fuck, their most important voting demographic is also their biggest, funnily enough, and resides around the south east of England – right on their doorstep. Still, it's something of a worrying niggle to them I imagine, like those head aches and the voices. Oh, the voices.
No, Mister Stumpleflush, I can't possibly do that with a corkscrew...
So with all that as a wonderful background, with Scotland's populace suddenly more engaged and in a perfect position to turn the screws on Westminster. What do we start doing the moment we've got this level of engagement? What's the bestest idea you can think of with this all going on? Anybody? Nobody can guess?
We split into tribes. Yay! Something positive is taking place, let's suck all the fucking good from it and turn it into a Who Can Call Each Other Cunts Most contest. Yep. We'll erect tents at either side of a fucking ravine and scowl at each other. Get a nice big animosity inflation unit going to blow huge floats that hurl insults at the people on the other side. And possibly sprays cat piss at them while they're at it.
It's like a fight over territory between two factions of chimps, except without all the screaming, shit-flinging an– oh, fuck it I can't even finish that sentence. That level of lie would implode the entire fucking planet.
It's just really nasty. It's like there's something burrowed in human psyche that means we can't just be a majority on something. We have to schism down the middle and throw bodily fluids at each other. Nice foetid ones at that. The ones we've collected in jars over the years and let get good and decomposed.
There's nothing wrong with being at different side of a political discussion. That whole thing of robust political discourse being an important corner stone of democracy is a valid argument, but the problem is, in our fractious internet age, people retreat to be with people of the same political standpoints as them. It's natural. We don't want to spend every day being told we're wrong and it's good to be around smarter people who can give us ideas to defend our standpoints when we do encounter people who tell us we're wrong. The sticking point comes when we don't leave these groups and they become an echo chamber. Those conditions are arsehole ideology breeding grounds.
It also means when people of different political opinions come together from these places, dripping with the absolute smelly determination they're right, it turns into sloppy shit fight. You know what's horrible in a political discussion? I'll assume you actually want to know and haven't just wandered off with your fingers in your ears going, "I don't do this. I don't do this," like a cunt. It's when anyone, on any side, rolls their eyes and goes, "That's just typical of what your side says," as if to dismiss them. I do it when I'm reading shit the Tories are up to, and I'll probably do it a dozen times today, the difference being is that I'm not in discussion with someone with a differing opinion. Yet this is an accepted part of political discussion, even including the inevitable snorting.
It's not even isolated to internet or private conversations, it's used in the highest political discussions in the land. This is a response you'll see in assemblies and parliaments right across the land. Like it's some kind of all-powerful weapon against ideologies that will cut an opponent off at the knees without a response. They're right about one thing, it is hard to respond to, outside of 'you're a cunt'. Of course it's typical of what one political view would say if it aligns with their political view. Fucking morons.
It ties in with the whole thing of a misunderstanding of what robust debate actually means. Watching footage from the House of Commons is like watching a bunch of unsupervised and undisciplined school kids scream at each other from across the play ground. It's a football away from a couple of MPs rolling around on the floor punching and biting each other. It's rowdy, it's horrible, it doesn't get much done and that seems to be the way our political wanks want it. If that's how top level political discussion goes, what does that leave for the rest of us?
That's right. Festering penis scrapings.
For fuck's sake, we need to be a bit more mature about how we discuss these things. Yes, you disagree with what that SNP person or Tory person is saying, but outright calling them a cunt isn't going to get you anywhere, even if it is justified. Passion is good. Passion gets shit done. Foaming mouthed, eye-rolling raving makes people reach for the fucking cattle prod.
Pack it in you fucking idiots.
Will
Showing posts with label cunts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cunts. Show all posts
Wednesday, 4 March 2015
Wednesday, 29 October 2014
Yes, We Do Have Priorities.
"Stop talking about this and think about this!" I've been seeing this sentiment a lot recently. My language might be vague and you're probably already wondering, after a whole sentence, why the fuck you clicked on this blog. You need to bear with me. I have a point, but I'm going to waffle a bit before I get there. Make yourself a cup of tea or relax yourself with some porn, whatever it takes, I'll be waiting*.
Done? Got yer tea and biscuits in comfortable reach. Cleaned up? Dribbled tea everywhere when you thought you'd be a smart arse and try to do both things at once? Sicko. We'll assume you've done whatever thing you needed to relax yourself and we'll say no more. Especially about the stains. Oh, the stains.
You know when you see something so odd that it stops you in your tracks? Sometimes you go, "Oh, right," and carry on with your day and pour out those cold beans from the can and shovel them into your mouth**. Sometimes that weird thing gets you thinking. It could be anything, but let's go with a celebrity's face suddenly changes to something unrecognisable†. It's obvious that's she's had work done. Enough to alter the way she looks so drastically. Now, I don't think it's fair to shame her, she's a victim of a hypocritical system that pulls women one way then another, mocking them for just about any decision they make.
The small rumble of interest caused a few people to start wailing about all the other things wrong in the world. Excuse me? "There are more important things in the world than Renée Zellweger's face!" No kidding, crazy person.
Even stranger, and more odiously, was when Nigel Farage waded into the vague nonsense that was the UKIP Calypso this week. Now, the song was an offensive piece of crap on a number of levels, and I'm not going to link it. But the pan-faced goblin that is Nigel Farage got on his high horse in the Independent. He does the same, "There are more important things to be angry about," rant and then points, obliquely, at Ebola and more blatantly at historical child abuse in Rotherham. In this article you can almost see the straining erection he has for getting more column inches and air time for such a stupid thing and then thrusts a veiny, probably corkscrew-shaped, stiffy in the faces of anyone close by. It was easy publicity for a racism-factory that runs on a sticky fuel of grubby attention‡.
This curious phenomenon of pointing at things that are more important to shift attention away from something seen as fairly trivial does a disservice to people in general. You are aware that we can give thinking time to other things, right? Some things make a bigger impact, and time does dull them – be honest, in a few months both of the examples above will be forgotten. By squealing about them you've got people thinking about them for longer and perversely taking attention away from the thing your trying to point out. People are weird, contrarian and arseholey about that.
People do need to think about other things than all the horrible shit that's going on in the world – even if it is a minor scandal or uproar – because we would become either fatigued or humourless existers who can't eat because they are stuck in constant sad face. It's like having a tiny bit of salacious gossip and screaming at the person, "I don't care if he fell into bed with his brother-in-law's wife, what about fucking PALESTINE§!?"
Yes, giving any thought to the small things is silly, and that's kind of the point. We're still aware of the giant ogres and injustices stomping around the world, we just need something to take the edge of or we'd go fucking nuts. I notice no one ever berates anyone for looking at cute animal vids on Youtube. Sometimes we need something less horrible to be able to deal with the nightmarish shit that's going on.
And then, of course, looking at my half-formed examples above more closely, you'll start to see that they're indicative of much bigger issues with society. Poor Renée Zellweger is a new poster child for our fucked up attitudes towards women – she shouldn't have felt the need to use surgery to look younger, but she conversely shouldn't be pilloried for doing it. Nigel Farage and UKIP are fucking cancerous political spectres, stoking hatred against certain demographics, giving voice to the worst kind of bigotry and polishing it up as mainstream politics. You know why Farage and his particular breed of ghoul are trying to do this? To line their already pretty money-padded pockets. They are an expression of our greedy-shit political system, amplified to a chinless, guffawing, hundred pound note-smoking, poor-mocking caricature straight out of a Dickens novel.
In Nigel Farage's case in particular, you have to ask who benefits from the distraction: the song itself was a distraction on its own, but still shone a spotlight on UKIP's spineless dickery, so Farage§§, the slippery fuck, did a bit of crafty sleight of hand. He got publicity for the party while diverting attention away from their abhorrent policies. He's clearly been getting lessons from David Blane§§§.
So, everyone, just calm the fuck down, take a deep breath and let's just agree that Nigel Farage is a cunt.
* Just keep thinking about that when you're trying to crank one out.
** Oh? That's just me. Okay. Fuck.
† I mean, seriously, if the captions and headlines hadn't said who she was, I wouldn't have known. No, Russell Brand, that's not a result of getting older. Ageing a few years in adulthood doesn't cause that level of appearance change.
‡ And, fucking hell, the BBC have been doing enough of that. How much of Farage's tainted champagne have BBC execs drank to constantly shove that cunt to the forefront of political debate in the UK when UKIP are still essentially a fringe party?
§ But really it's still fucking awful there.
§§ He might be a giant grinning thumb, but he's a sharp grinning thumb, that's why he's so dangerous.
§§§ Is that charlatan shithead still around? Levitation, fucking hell.
Will
Done? Got yer tea and biscuits in comfortable reach. Cleaned up? Dribbled tea everywhere when you thought you'd be a smart arse and try to do both things at once? Sicko. We'll assume you've done whatever thing you needed to relax yourself and we'll say no more. Especially about the stains. Oh, the stains.
You know when you see something so odd that it stops you in your tracks? Sometimes you go, "Oh, right," and carry on with your day and pour out those cold beans from the can and shovel them into your mouth**. Sometimes that weird thing gets you thinking. It could be anything, but let's go with a celebrity's face suddenly changes to something unrecognisable†. It's obvious that's she's had work done. Enough to alter the way she looks so drastically. Now, I don't think it's fair to shame her, she's a victim of a hypocritical system that pulls women one way then another, mocking them for just about any decision they make.
The small rumble of interest caused a few people to start wailing about all the other things wrong in the world. Excuse me? "There are more important things in the world than Renée Zellweger's face!" No kidding, crazy person.
Even stranger, and more odiously, was when Nigel Farage waded into the vague nonsense that was the UKIP Calypso this week. Now, the song was an offensive piece of crap on a number of levels, and I'm not going to link it. But the pan-faced goblin that is Nigel Farage got on his high horse in the Independent. He does the same, "There are more important things to be angry about," rant and then points, obliquely, at Ebola and more blatantly at historical child abuse in Rotherham. In this article you can almost see the straining erection he has for getting more column inches and air time for such a stupid thing and then thrusts a veiny, probably corkscrew-shaped, stiffy in the faces of anyone close by. It was easy publicity for a racism-factory that runs on a sticky fuel of grubby attention‡.
This curious phenomenon of pointing at things that are more important to shift attention away from something seen as fairly trivial does a disservice to people in general. You are aware that we can give thinking time to other things, right? Some things make a bigger impact, and time does dull them – be honest, in a few months both of the examples above will be forgotten. By squealing about them you've got people thinking about them for longer and perversely taking attention away from the thing your trying to point out. People are weird, contrarian and arseholey about that.
People do need to think about other things than all the horrible shit that's going on in the world – even if it is a minor scandal or uproar – because we would become either fatigued or humourless existers who can't eat because they are stuck in constant sad face. It's like having a tiny bit of salacious gossip and screaming at the person, "I don't care if he fell into bed with his brother-in-law's wife, what about fucking PALESTINE§!?"
Yes, giving any thought to the small things is silly, and that's kind of the point. We're still aware of the giant ogres and injustices stomping around the world, we just need something to take the edge of or we'd go fucking nuts. I notice no one ever berates anyone for looking at cute animal vids on Youtube. Sometimes we need something less horrible to be able to deal with the nightmarish shit that's going on.
And then, of course, looking at my half-formed examples above more closely, you'll start to see that they're indicative of much bigger issues with society. Poor Renée Zellweger is a new poster child for our fucked up attitudes towards women – she shouldn't have felt the need to use surgery to look younger, but she conversely shouldn't be pilloried for doing it. Nigel Farage and UKIP are fucking cancerous political spectres, stoking hatred against certain demographics, giving voice to the worst kind of bigotry and polishing it up as mainstream politics. You know why Farage and his particular breed of ghoul are trying to do this? To line their already pretty money-padded pockets. They are an expression of our greedy-shit political system, amplified to a chinless, guffawing, hundred pound note-smoking, poor-mocking caricature straight out of a Dickens novel.
In Nigel Farage's case in particular, you have to ask who benefits from the distraction: the song itself was a distraction on its own, but still shone a spotlight on UKIP's spineless dickery, so Farage§§, the slippery fuck, did a bit of crafty sleight of hand. He got publicity for the party while diverting attention away from their abhorrent policies. He's clearly been getting lessons from David Blane§§§.
So, everyone, just calm the fuck down, take a deep breath and let's just agree that Nigel Farage is a cunt.
* Just keep thinking about that when you're trying to crank one out.
** Oh? That's just me. Okay. Fuck.
† I mean, seriously, if the captions and headlines hadn't said who she was, I wouldn't have known. No, Russell Brand, that's not a result of getting older. Ageing a few years in adulthood doesn't cause that level of appearance change.
‡ And, fucking hell, the BBC have been doing enough of that. How much of Farage's tainted champagne have BBC execs drank to constantly shove that cunt to the forefront of political debate in the UK when UKIP are still essentially a fringe party?
§ But really it's still fucking awful there.
§§ He might be a giant grinning thumb, but he's a sharp grinning thumb, that's why he's so dangerous.
§§§ Is that charlatan shithead still around? Levitation, fucking hell.
Will
Wednesday, 25 June 2014
Goddamn It! It's Not About THAT!
I'm going to insult some of you. Yeah, I've probably been insulting your intelligence in this blog for a while, but today, I'm just going to come out and say it, I'm going to insult you. To be honest I think the ones I'm going to insult need it. Probably won't achieve much, but...well, I haven't thought much past that. Rest assured there's a good reason, I'm sure you'll come up with one, you brainless fuck.
Got this booklet through the door this morning. Actually, this afternoon, since the poor, overworked postman would be shoving the bloody things through every single fucking door. The booklet was called What Staying in the United Kingdom means for Scotland. It claims to be information. It reads like a fucking book full of patronising orders and flimsy proclamations to me. It's a publication created by the vested interest of Westminster*.
And it was the final straw on whether I should go off on a fucking rant about the question of Scottish independence. I'll tell you right now, I'm for it. Just get that right out there before any ambiguity can set in. I'll be voting yes.
Do you want to know why?
Probably not, but I'm going to tell you. I'm sick of London being the centre of every decision made in this country. It feels like every political and fiscal decision made by the UK government is for the benefit of the parasitic resource sink in the south east. I have nothing against London, it's a wonderful place to visit, but that doesn't mean I want every decision made in the rest of the country used to prop it up. It's not right and it's not fair. Money and people who would benefit areas like Yorkshire, Cumbria and Central Scotland are drawn to the city to the detriment of these places. How the fuck is that right?
It's like the clichéd school bully who demands your lunch money and gives you nothing but pain in return. The rest of the country only gets inflated house prices in return for sending tributes of people and money to the insatiable London. A whole country can't be used to finance a single city.
Yet we, the Scottish people are urged to stay with this abusive relationship, because, we're condescendingly informed, it's better for us. Yeah, I like being scudded in the head with a cane while some cunt who has enough money already dips my fucking pocket. And none of the current national parties will do anything different, because we have a bunch of creepy career politicians who are beholden to equally creepy business interests. Rich folk helping out rich folk, aye they have our best interests at heart. Bunch of fucking cunts.
And you do realise why some of the Better Together people are shouting so loud, right? No? How about if I say they're MPs? That help you out?
They are another vested interest. What happens to all those Scottish MPs in the event of a 'Yes' vote? That's right, they don't get their subsidised trips to London any more. Oh no! Their relevance will twirl away down the toilet. You know and the nice, generous expenses and chance at a juicy peerage. But of course the money and title has nothing to do with it, it's all about doing the best for their constituents. I do wish there was a sarcasm tag.
Let's be clear, too, this isn't some wrong-headed Braveheart** pish about fucking the English. That has nothing to do with it. I think the rest of England could benefit from getting shot of slimy shits that inhabit Whitehall. The UK government doesn't really represent Scotland or the rest of the country as it stands. If the current UK government wasn't hacking up the NHS or punishing poor people for not having enough money or being led around by the nose by tabloid journalism, I might waver a bit more, but what we see is Tories and LibDems slashing at the infrastructure of welfare and finger-fucking the wounds.
And that's another thing, all the fuckwits who think "I don't like Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon," is a valid reason for voting no, please take a swim in the North Sea with bowling balls tied to your legs, because your diminutive IQ is dragging the rest of us down. Yeah Salmond is an egotistical goon, but we don't need to have him forever. An independent Scotland will still be democratic, we won't suddenly become a dictatorship. Vote the fucker out once we have our own country. Simple as that.
I'm sure there's a chance he'll turn on us when he gets into office, but I'd rather take that chance over dealing with the Westminster fuckers who've shown they'll happily slit a newborn's throat if it got them a few extra coppers in their pockets. The breed at the top in the Houses of Parliament at the moment are the most heartless, corporate and ideology-driven fungal-infections you can imagine. In it together; or in it for themselves? You shouldn't need to think about that if you follow the pattern of their behaviour.
Essentially, if you vote 'No' to independence you've forfeited your right to complain about any Westminster government, because you told them you were happy to let them continue to do whatever the fuck they like. I mean they've already fast tracked privatising the Royal Mail, what kind of shit is that? Who's to say the next government won't start to renege on devolution, because, "Clearly you want to have more to do with Westminster. Why else would you stay in the union. Come, this will only hurt forever."
Tell me you can't imagine that walking modelling balloon David Cameron doing something like that to appease the great Maggie. Seriously, can't you just imagine him having a shrine to Margaret Thatcher in his bedroom, with the mask he makes his wife wear when he's fucking her hung up next to unnervingly intimate photos of Thatcher? David Cameron and that smirking goblin Nigel Farage show the same contempt for Scotland as Thatcher did. It's the same contempt they hold for anyone not as rich as them. You want a shit-monger like Cameron to still be making decisions from Downing Street? Fuck, do you want barely there political drone Ed Milliband in Number Ten? What sort of hell do you think he'll rain on Scotland? Those adenoids are just waiting for their revenge, people!
Then you have the leaders of the Scottish Labour party and the Scottish Conservative party, Johann Lamont and Ruth Davidson, who hold the people of Scotland in such little worth they don't believe we can think for ourselves. Johann Lamont just out and said it. Ruth Davidson hasn't in so many words, but, because she's a Tory, it's an easy bet she believes it, too.
They all subscribe to the same corrosive notion that rigid capitalism is the most sensible economic option. Yeah, and trickle-down economics works. Fucking hell, the idea of infinite growth for anything is the most preposterous notion ever conceived. Not to sound hysterical here†, but it's a big old lie. It's a lie to keep already frighteningly wealthy and powerful people in the power and wealth they think is their right. It's the same lie that's led to sell offs of public services or the barmy notion that public services should be profitable. That's not the benchmark of a public service's worth; efficiency isn't decided by how much money electricity, public transport, the postal service or healthcare makes, it's how well they're doing to stop society from crumbling around our ears. Taxes from the businesses these services help to support should be invested, not wrenched in bloated bills from the pockets of normal people. The fact that Westminster politicians are so cowardly and lacking in imagination to dare deviate from this dogmatic bollocks scares the living shit out of me and it should you, too.
Do you really want to be still part of that shit? If you do then you're a fucking moron. You don't deserve my respect. Or air, for that matter.
I'll concede, though, both sides in this campaign have been guilty of being cagey on several subjects. It's not been a nice campaign. The Yes side have stooped as low as the No side and that's fucking shameful. We shouldn't let this political bickering put us off getting our own country. The transition won't be easy, my friend, but there's a chance it will be worth it. Can it really be as bad as what we've had shoved down our throats already?
* There's a brilliant ripping apart of it here. Or there was. The fucking links died hasn't it?
** I fucking hate that piece of shit button-pressing film. It's not about freedom, it's about a fucking sociopath annoyed because he can't get his dick wet.
† Dude, already happened, wipe the spittle away.
Will
Got this booklet through the door this morning. Actually, this afternoon, since the poor, overworked postman would be shoving the bloody things through every single fucking door. The booklet was called What Staying in the United Kingdom means for Scotland. It claims to be information. It reads like a fucking book full of patronising orders and flimsy proclamations to me. It's a publication created by the vested interest of Westminster*.
And it was the final straw on whether I should go off on a fucking rant about the question of Scottish independence. I'll tell you right now, I'm for it. Just get that right out there before any ambiguity can set in. I'll be voting yes.
Do you want to know why?
Probably not, but I'm going to tell you. I'm sick of London being the centre of every decision made in this country. It feels like every political and fiscal decision made by the UK government is for the benefit of the parasitic resource sink in the south east. I have nothing against London, it's a wonderful place to visit, but that doesn't mean I want every decision made in the rest of the country used to prop it up. It's not right and it's not fair. Money and people who would benefit areas like Yorkshire, Cumbria and Central Scotland are drawn to the city to the detriment of these places. How the fuck is that right?
It's like the clichéd school bully who demands your lunch money and gives you nothing but pain in return. The rest of the country only gets inflated house prices in return for sending tributes of people and money to the insatiable London. A whole country can't be used to finance a single city.
Yet we, the Scottish people are urged to stay with this abusive relationship, because, we're condescendingly informed, it's better for us. Yeah, I like being scudded in the head with a cane while some cunt who has enough money already dips my fucking pocket. And none of the current national parties will do anything different, because we have a bunch of creepy career politicians who are beholden to equally creepy business interests. Rich folk helping out rich folk, aye they have our best interests at heart. Bunch of fucking cunts.
And you do realise why some of the Better Together people are shouting so loud, right? No? How about if I say they're MPs? That help you out?
They are another vested interest. What happens to all those Scottish MPs in the event of a 'Yes' vote? That's right, they don't get their subsidised trips to London any more. Oh no! Their relevance will twirl away down the toilet. You know and the nice, generous expenses and chance at a juicy peerage. But of course the money and title has nothing to do with it, it's all about doing the best for their constituents. I do wish there was a sarcasm tag.
Let's be clear, too, this isn't some wrong-headed Braveheart** pish about fucking the English. That has nothing to do with it. I think the rest of England could benefit from getting shot of slimy shits that inhabit Whitehall. The UK government doesn't really represent Scotland or the rest of the country as it stands. If the current UK government wasn't hacking up the NHS or punishing poor people for not having enough money or being led around by the nose by tabloid journalism, I might waver a bit more, but what we see is Tories and LibDems slashing at the infrastructure of welfare and finger-fucking the wounds.
And that's another thing, all the fuckwits who think "I don't like Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon," is a valid reason for voting no, please take a swim in the North Sea with bowling balls tied to your legs, because your diminutive IQ is dragging the rest of us down. Yeah Salmond is an egotistical goon, but we don't need to have him forever. An independent Scotland will still be democratic, we won't suddenly become a dictatorship. Vote the fucker out once we have our own country. Simple as that.
I'm sure there's a chance he'll turn on us when he gets into office, but I'd rather take that chance over dealing with the Westminster fuckers who've shown they'll happily slit a newborn's throat if it got them a few extra coppers in their pockets. The breed at the top in the Houses of Parliament at the moment are the most heartless, corporate and ideology-driven fungal-infections you can imagine. In it together; or in it for themselves? You shouldn't need to think about that if you follow the pattern of their behaviour.
Essentially, if you vote 'No' to independence you've forfeited your right to complain about any Westminster government, because you told them you were happy to let them continue to do whatever the fuck they like. I mean they've already fast tracked privatising the Royal Mail, what kind of shit is that? Who's to say the next government won't start to renege on devolution, because, "Clearly you want to have more to do with Westminster. Why else would you stay in the union. Come, this will only hurt forever."
Tell me you can't imagine that walking modelling balloon David Cameron doing something like that to appease the great Maggie. Seriously, can't you just imagine him having a shrine to Margaret Thatcher in his bedroom, with the mask he makes his wife wear when he's fucking her hung up next to unnervingly intimate photos of Thatcher? David Cameron and that smirking goblin Nigel Farage show the same contempt for Scotland as Thatcher did. It's the same contempt they hold for anyone not as rich as them. You want a shit-monger like Cameron to still be making decisions from Downing Street? Fuck, do you want barely there political drone Ed Milliband in Number Ten? What sort of hell do you think he'll rain on Scotland? Those adenoids are just waiting for their revenge, people!
Then you have the leaders of the Scottish Labour party and the Scottish Conservative party, Johann Lamont and Ruth Davidson, who hold the people of Scotland in such little worth they don't believe we can think for ourselves. Johann Lamont just out and said it. Ruth Davidson hasn't in so many words, but, because she's a Tory, it's an easy bet she believes it, too.
They all subscribe to the same corrosive notion that rigid capitalism is the most sensible economic option. Yeah, and trickle-down economics works. Fucking hell, the idea of infinite growth for anything is the most preposterous notion ever conceived. Not to sound hysterical here†, but it's a big old lie. It's a lie to keep already frighteningly wealthy and powerful people in the power and wealth they think is their right. It's the same lie that's led to sell offs of public services or the barmy notion that public services should be profitable. That's not the benchmark of a public service's worth; efficiency isn't decided by how much money electricity, public transport, the postal service or healthcare makes, it's how well they're doing to stop society from crumbling around our ears. Taxes from the businesses these services help to support should be invested, not wrenched in bloated bills from the pockets of normal people. The fact that Westminster politicians are so cowardly and lacking in imagination to dare deviate from this dogmatic bollocks scares the living shit out of me and it should you, too.
Do you really want to be still part of that shit? If you do then you're a fucking moron. You don't deserve my respect. Or air, for that matter.
I'll concede, though, both sides in this campaign have been guilty of being cagey on several subjects. It's not been a nice campaign. The Yes side have stooped as low as the No side and that's fucking shameful. We shouldn't let this political bickering put us off getting our own country. The transition won't be easy, my friend, but there's a chance it will be worth it. Can it really be as bad as what we've had shoved down our throats already?
* There's a brilliant ripping apart of it here. Or there was. The fucking links died hasn't it?
** I fucking hate that piece of shit button-pressing film. It's not about freedom, it's about a fucking sociopath annoyed because he can't get his dick wet.
† Dude, already happened, wipe the spittle away.
Will
Wednesday, 23 April 2014
And Your Pens, Too!
Smell that, son. It's the scent of fuckwit on the air. Yes, I know, we're supposed to be an advanced civilised society, but fuckwits and arseholes still manage to wriggle their way to the top of food chains and under our skin. It's kind of our fault for having a civilised and advanced society that we allow these...um...interesting individuals to burble away and annoy us. Would be nice to just round a few particularly dicky dicks up, through them on an enclosed plain and hunt them down. Population control. Alas the whole 'illegality' and 'immorality' of such a venture bugs some people. For some reason.
I've been vocal about my annoyance at the sexism and misogyny in two of my favourite art forms before. Gaming has seen a high-profile debacle with the Game Jam that went down the toilet because of sexist remarks. You have to applaud the people who put a middle finger up to that shit. It's not the first incident of its kind in gaming and I don't think it will be the last – not for a good long while, sadly. I can't help feeling that all the nasty shit some gamers say while playing online might be the desired end result for some games creators, "I'm miserable, so you're all going to be miserable. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Or something.
I want to talk comics, though.
Recently this bullshit pushed its sweaty way into my consciousness. Do I need to tell people what's wrong with this situation? If I do, then please feel free to go for a walk down the middle of a motorway, you know for your own and everyone else's sake. It will be for the best.
Going by the discussion and the toxic sludge that passes for forums and comments sections, talk I must. It's because it talks of a wider problem in our culture, where treating women like punching bags, both emotionally and physically, still doesn't have the stigma it deserves.
Let's go back to that misty time of April 11th of this year, an idyllic time when everyone got along and no one was throwing around rape threats like it was big and clever.
What?
It's never been like that?
Okay, but this part of the story still starts on that date. A day when a woman decided to critique a recent comic book cover. She pointed out that while the figure work was mostly pretty good, the composition was dodgy as fuck. I mean, to me, most of the things around the figures look like they've been scribbled in without any thought about whether they should be there. That lunch bag in Beast Boy's hand looks especially tacked-on. She points out something that could be potentially racist. That last one's hard to call, it could just have been down to the overall iffiness of the composition.
The less ambiguous issue is with Wonder Girl's anatomy. Namely her gigantic, unreal knockers. Miss Asselin rightly takes issue with the blatant sexualisation of a teenage girl, fictional she may be, but it's still a creepy thought. She points out the ridiculous proportions of the character's hips before turning her attention to everything that's wrong with Wonder Girl's breasts. You can read it in the link.
And that's what people took issue with. How dare she, a mere woman and non-artist, criticise a comic artist for DOING WHAT A VAST SWATH OF COMIC ARTISTS DO! Then came the rape threats. Rape threats.
I'll say that a third time so that those of you who don't quite get it can feel the full horror: rape threats. We know the people involved know what they do is wrong because they concealed their activities in private correspondence.
This kind of thing isn't acceptable. This is shit. It's nasty and unpleasant and, if the all-time number one downloaded song ever is an indicator, disgustingly prevalent. We have a culture in which threatening rape is a way of dealing with women. How is this still a thing? Why are we still letting it happen? Are we afraid of losing our bros when we call them on having grotesque attitudes towards women. Let me tell you, you don't need friends like that, yer mate who's always calling women sluts and whores and thinks they're good for nothing but bed post notches is the human equivalent of radioactive waste. His attitudes are going to reflect on you and give your soul cancer. You wouldn't sit on an atomic pile would you? See?
Even in the public domain, people who are supposed to be professionals in the field resorted to, "you have a vagina, so you are wrong," arguments when it was clear their defence of one of their colleagues wasn't going their way. That's harder to deal with, because they don't seem to see what they are doing is wrong. That's a problem too big for my puny brain to think up even a bullshit solution for.
And the argument it's the way comics are done is such a huge pile of bullshit there are satellites orbiting it. We have the capacity to change that particular status quo. Ridiculously-boobed women (teenagers and adult women) are the juvenile fantasies of a small part of the comics community, yet it's those shit heads who call all the shots. Yes, they're the loudest monkeys in the enclosure, but they are also the most stupid, selfish and least representative. Big companies can take away their power with one simple tactic: ignore them. It's not our fault some essential part of their life is missing. Get on with doing shit that isn't offensive in every wrong way and start to grow. You won't be seen as unsympathetic, you'll be seen as smart. Ignore the fuckers who want comics to stay the same stunted medium forever*.
What I say to everyone: is shout as loud as you can about these internet degenerates. Shine a big torch on every reprehensible proclamation. There should be a website dedicated to this, where women who've been on the receiving end of this crap can post the sickening crap they have to put up with so that the rest of us can laugh and the pathetic specimens who feel it's right and proper to verbally beat women down with grimy threats just so they can feel empowered. Would such a place work? Dunno. It would be nice to experiment and see. Someone. Anybody?**
* Actually moderating forums and comments sections might be a good start too. Too many of these places just let slobbering misogyny and any other foul prejudice run rampant without saying much. Don't feed the trolls is not an adequate way to moderate a forum either.
** And fucking hell more shit!
Will
I've been vocal about my annoyance at the sexism and misogyny in two of my favourite art forms before. Gaming has seen a high-profile debacle with the Game Jam that went down the toilet because of sexist remarks. You have to applaud the people who put a middle finger up to that shit. It's not the first incident of its kind in gaming and I don't think it will be the last – not for a good long while, sadly. I can't help feeling that all the nasty shit some gamers say while playing online might be the desired end result for some games creators, "I'm miserable, so you're all going to be miserable. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Or something.
I want to talk comics, though.
Recently this bullshit pushed its sweaty way into my consciousness. Do I need to tell people what's wrong with this situation? If I do, then please feel free to go for a walk down the middle of a motorway, you know for your own and everyone else's sake. It will be for the best.
Going by the discussion and the toxic sludge that passes for forums and comments sections, talk I must. It's because it talks of a wider problem in our culture, where treating women like punching bags, both emotionally and physically, still doesn't have the stigma it deserves.
Let's go back to that misty time of April 11th of this year, an idyllic time when everyone got along and no one was throwing around rape threats like it was big and clever.
What?
It's never been like that?
Okay, but this part of the story still starts on that date. A day when a woman decided to critique a recent comic book cover. She pointed out that while the figure work was mostly pretty good, the composition was dodgy as fuck. I mean, to me, most of the things around the figures look like they've been scribbled in without any thought about whether they should be there. That lunch bag in Beast Boy's hand looks especially tacked-on. She points out something that could be potentially racist. That last one's hard to call, it could just have been down to the overall iffiness of the composition.
The less ambiguous issue is with Wonder Girl's anatomy. Namely her gigantic, unreal knockers. Miss Asselin rightly takes issue with the blatant sexualisation of a teenage girl, fictional she may be, but it's still a creepy thought. She points out the ridiculous proportions of the character's hips before turning her attention to everything that's wrong with Wonder Girl's breasts. You can read it in the link.
And that's what people took issue with. How dare she, a mere woman and non-artist, criticise a comic artist for DOING WHAT A VAST SWATH OF COMIC ARTISTS DO! Then came the rape threats. Rape threats.
I'll say that a third time so that those of you who don't quite get it can feel the full horror: rape threats. We know the people involved know what they do is wrong because they concealed their activities in private correspondence.
This kind of thing isn't acceptable. This is shit. It's nasty and unpleasant and, if the all-time number one downloaded song ever is an indicator, disgustingly prevalent. We have a culture in which threatening rape is a way of dealing with women. How is this still a thing? Why are we still letting it happen? Are we afraid of losing our bros when we call them on having grotesque attitudes towards women. Let me tell you, you don't need friends like that, yer mate who's always calling women sluts and whores and thinks they're good for nothing but bed post notches is the human equivalent of radioactive waste. His attitudes are going to reflect on you and give your soul cancer. You wouldn't sit on an atomic pile would you? See?
Even in the public domain, people who are supposed to be professionals in the field resorted to, "you have a vagina, so you are wrong," arguments when it was clear their defence of one of their colleagues wasn't going their way. That's harder to deal with, because they don't seem to see what they are doing is wrong. That's a problem too big for my puny brain to think up even a bullshit solution for.
And the argument it's the way comics are done is such a huge pile of bullshit there are satellites orbiting it. We have the capacity to change that particular status quo. Ridiculously-boobed women (teenagers and adult women) are the juvenile fantasies of a small part of the comics community, yet it's those shit heads who call all the shots. Yes, they're the loudest monkeys in the enclosure, but they are also the most stupid, selfish and least representative. Big companies can take away their power with one simple tactic: ignore them. It's not our fault some essential part of their life is missing. Get on with doing shit that isn't offensive in every wrong way and start to grow. You won't be seen as unsympathetic, you'll be seen as smart. Ignore the fuckers who want comics to stay the same stunted medium forever*.
What I say to everyone: is shout as loud as you can about these internet degenerates. Shine a big torch on every reprehensible proclamation. There should be a website dedicated to this, where women who've been on the receiving end of this crap can post the sickening crap they have to put up with so that the rest of us can laugh and the pathetic specimens who feel it's right and proper to verbally beat women down with grimy threats just so they can feel empowered. Would such a place work? Dunno. It would be nice to experiment and see. Someone. Anybody?**
* Actually moderating forums and comments sections might be a good start too. Too many of these places just let slobbering misogyny and any other foul prejudice run rampant without saying much. Don't feed the trolls is not an adequate way to moderate a forum either.
** And fucking hell more shit!
Will
Wednesday, 5 March 2014
The David Cameron Nightmare Seed.
Hello, people. How are you today? Good? Filled with nonsense and joie de vivre? Want to have that stripped away from you in the most brutal way possible? Of course you do.
Really look at it, ignoring its graininess*. Many of you know this smug, horrible avatar of greedy privilege. Some call him reptilian, but I think that gives reptiles grounds to sue. See those shark-like dot eyes, black with caustic ideology. I bet you can hear his voice, spouting shit so corrosive it's easy to believe his heart doesn't pump blood, but pure bile**.
Now imagine that face, hovering over you, flushed red† with sweat. Perspiration forming rivulets and running down his nose to drip into your eye. Hair plastered to his head. His arms shake with the effort of keeping him above you. He grins at you in post-coital goofiness and withdraws his rapidly diminishing erection, wiping it on your thighs as he does.
He flops down onto his side with a long, drawn-out sigh. He reaches across to his discarded trousers, fishes in the pockets, pulls out his wallet and peels off few notes. These notes he carefully shoves into your mouth until you gag, his post-coital smile still in place, never. As you are about to vomit he lets go and punches you in the face.
Not pretty.
Now, if you're Scottish, think about that. Think about any future Prime Minister of any party, sitting in Westminster, erection and fists at the ready. I could say so much more, but I'll leave that there for you to think about.
* Maybe I should have black-and-whited it.
** Or you're a Tory and think he's a capitalist hero, in which case I am sorry for your illness.
† Redder, if you want to be entirely accurate. I'm always going for accuracy. Except for when I can't be arsed.
Will
Look at this face:
Really look at it, ignoring its graininess*. Many of you know this smug, horrible avatar of greedy privilege. Some call him reptilian, but I think that gives reptiles grounds to sue. See those shark-like dot eyes, black with caustic ideology. I bet you can hear his voice, spouting shit so corrosive it's easy to believe his heart doesn't pump blood, but pure bile**.
Now imagine that face, hovering over you, flushed red† with sweat. Perspiration forming rivulets and running down his nose to drip into your eye. Hair plastered to his head. His arms shake with the effort of keeping him above you. He grins at you in post-coital goofiness and withdraws his rapidly diminishing erection, wiping it on your thighs as he does.
He flops down onto his side with a long, drawn-out sigh. He reaches across to his discarded trousers, fishes in the pockets, pulls out his wallet and peels off few notes. These notes he carefully shoves into your mouth until you gag, his post-coital smile still in place, never. As you are about to vomit he lets go and punches you in the face.
Not pretty.
Now, if you're Scottish, think about that. Think about any future Prime Minister of any party, sitting in Westminster, erection and fists at the ready. I could say so much more, but I'll leave that there for you to think about.
* Maybe I should have black-and-whited it.
** Or you're a Tory and think he's a capitalist hero, in which case I am sorry for your illness.
† Redder, if you want to be entirely accurate. I'm always going for accuracy. Except for when I can't be arsed.
Will
Saturday, 11 January 2014
Staring at the Puzzle Cube (It is A Cube, Right?)
Alan Moore and Grant Morrison are a strange pair. They’ve got that thing about magic. Well, Alan Moore is a practitioner of Magic, while Grant Morrison is a man who goes in for Chaos Magick (pronounced Mage-ick, if my sketchy sources are to be believed, don’t put too much stock in it). I won’t go into what either of these things actually mean, because I don’t fucking know and I don’t have time to rummage around to find out. Actually, their interest in these similar-sounding esoteric pastimes is really the only strange thing about either of them.
Not being friends with either man and not even being acquainted with one, I can’t give any insights into their thought processes. You know, that whole having only a shallow exposure to them, so anything I were to say about what’s going on in their weirdly oppositely-haired domes is going to speculative at absolute best and spurious at worst. I hate spurious.
Fucking hell this is starting to sound serious. Lemme give some disclosure, I’m not an academic* or a journalist. Anybody who claims so is up to something and should probably be hunted down and forced to do something unpleasant, like watch nothing but Eastenders and River City for a week. Yes, I am a terrible man.
Anyway.
I find they both sound even-tempered and reasonable when they speak. The only anger I’ve ever encountered (in my limited experience, mind you, I have to stress that again for those gimps picking and choosing words to use against me) is from Grant Morrison when he talks about Mark Millar. A whooooooole different kettle of bile, there, and something I will never touch on again. Intelligence is the lasting impression from Morrison and Moore.
They are both also highly successful and influential comic story tellers with a background in artwork. Watchmen, V for Vendetta and From Hell are some of the seminal comics works Alan Moore has graced the world with. Grant Morrison spent five years telling the story of The Invisibles. Both have done much, much more than I’ve listed and you have to whole internet right there to find out, you lazy fuck. They’ve both got something of a pedigree, in case you aren’t familiar.
There is also THE FEUD. Alan Moore doesn’t like Grant Morrison. At least that was the impression given for a long time and the best you could say was Moore wasn’t a fan. Then an interview with Pádraig Ó Méalóid, claiming to be Moore’s last, swatted the internet in the buttocks a few days ago. And my, my did it get a squealy reaction. Moore hates, hates, hates, hates, HATES, HATES, FUCKIN’ HATES Grant Morrison. With a side order of hate**.
My understanding is that Grant Morrison, again, until recently wasn’t entirely in love with Alan Moore either. Again, this changed with an interview at the end of 2012 conducted by Laura Sneddon in which he showed some consternation and confusion about the tension between himself and Alan Moore, as well as the timeline and events†.
The comics internet was shaken to its core and turned a lot of people into fuckin’ Twilight fans – turning into Team Moore and Team Morrison with all the ridiculously juvenile and noxious bullshit that entails. Seriously I’m embarrassed for the comics community (and some of the industry) for the way this whole business has been treated. Them and us isn’t a healthy attitude in relation to a personal conflict like this, no matter if the participants want you to do it‡. It’s human nature to leap on a flaw of someone you aren’t enamoured with§, but I do wish more people, people who oughtta know better would take a step back and use the mushy grey stuff in their skulls. Oh, and engage the empathy bone. Essentially a lot of Forest Whitaker eye going on – and there was enough of that anyway.
So, it’s turned into a complete fucking mess with people making arseholes of themselves on either side of the argument. Though there have been some islands of sanity and sense in this lake of bubbling vitriol.
I was going to compare and possibly contrast their accounts of Morrison’s and Moore’s ongoing relationship, because relationship is what it is, one based on verbal swipes through intermediaries. It’s not a pleasant relationship, but there is a connection and it’s something they need to work out between them, without the braying peanut gallery of the internet inciting more from them, something that’s been absent from historical literary feuds. Looking at the two interviews (the Morrison one being a weirdly editorial affair with him adding changes in red and everything) it seems so tangled and twisted I’d just find myself in knots about them. It invites another one of those Can-Can moments, I’m afraid.
So, as I’ve written this, with an eye for looking at the affair, I find myself being distracted and disheartened by something that’s bothered me about the comics community for a long time: the vocal minority of arseholes it engenders. The unwelcoming trolls and ogres who have set themselves up at the gates of the community judging who is worthy, grovelling at the feet of people in the industry while preparing knives to hamstring and hack apart those same individuals. Seeing industry figures jumping in on this behaviour just makes me stand back in confusion and go, “Huh.”
There’s an ingrained aggression in the comics community. Nothing wrong with aggression, it creates energy and drives artistic expression. It’s when this aggression gets redirected at inappropriate sources like women, gays, creators and each other it’s done with all the grisly violence of a troop of chimps taking a baby, and it’s about as brutal and upsetting as that image conjures. It’s what taints the medium for people outside of it. And there’s a lot of writing on this behaviour, particularly the shameful treatment of women (and in the last year, incidentally, of women in the games industry), and I’m not the best source for it.
So what do we do about this handsy uncle no one talks about part of the comics community? Well we start talking about it, we engage it; see if we can change something about it. Not an easy task for the spittle-chinned glaring bastard, threatening us with death and rape, but in this case robust discussion needs to take place. Because (clumsily switching metaphors) cancer doesn’t go away by ignoring it. Treatment, that’s the thing.
It might not be so bad if the industry side of the didn’t foment it and encourage it. Pandering to the lowest members of a rich community is not the way to keep it alive–
Stop acting like cocks, is what I’m saying.
Fucking hell, that’s all it boils down to: stop acting like cocks. Think about what you’re going to say before you launch into a venomous tirade or write yet another story objectifying women and consider, perhaps there’s another way. Being a cock gets you attention but it fucks up the whole place for everyone else. This doesn’t mean disagreements aren’t going to happen, but perhaps it will create discourse a bit better than, “Youre a fucking fagot fucktard,” and it means we can have industry characters who aren’t misogynistic, homophobic narcissists.
Of course, yes, I’ll do the obligatory it’s only a minority of the community who behaves that way. And I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true, however it would be nicer if it were a dwindling minority. Let them be as vocal as they want, too, then we know who they are and point out to those who don’t know, that’s not the way to behave.
So, what was going to be a sticking my oar in to an argument I have nothing to do with (albeit, I was doing it dispassionately, with a hint of humour§§ and adopting the middle ground) has turned into a small attempt at weakening the hold on the comics community of the sweaty arsehole element. I think that’s in the territory of ‘win’, don’t you?
Now I’ll shut up for a few days.
* Y’know despite this little nugget of internet obscurity having an academic bent. Or it was.
** He’s no fan of Laura Sneddon, either, but that’s for someone else to blether about.
† The Alan Moore interview can be found here: Last Alan Moore Interview? this is a long article. The Grant Morrison interview can be found here: The Strange Case of Alan Moore and Grant Morrison, as Told by Grant Morrison. I so wish these interviews had happened closer together. No doubt by next week there’ll be a new Morrison one.
‡ Which Alan Moore does and it disappointed me. Perhaps it was point-making hyperbole, but it’s so easy to misunderstand. And people did, wilfully and enthusiastically.
§ I’m guilty of it myself and it drives my wife nuts. Doesn’t mean I condone it.
§§ “Y’whut?” I hear you cry. Cunts.
Will
Not being friends with either man and not even being acquainted with one, I can’t give any insights into their thought processes. You know, that whole having only a shallow exposure to them, so anything I were to say about what’s going on in their weirdly oppositely-haired domes is going to speculative at absolute best and spurious at worst. I hate spurious.
Fucking hell this is starting to sound serious. Lemme give some disclosure, I’m not an academic* or a journalist. Anybody who claims so is up to something and should probably be hunted down and forced to do something unpleasant, like watch nothing but Eastenders and River City for a week. Yes, I am a terrible man.
Anyway.
I find they both sound even-tempered and reasonable when they speak. The only anger I’ve ever encountered (in my limited experience, mind you, I have to stress that again for those gimps picking and choosing words to use against me) is from Grant Morrison when he talks about Mark Millar. A whooooooole different kettle of bile, there, and something I will never touch on again. Intelligence is the lasting impression from Morrison and Moore.
They are both also highly successful and influential comic story tellers with a background in artwork. Watchmen, V for Vendetta and From Hell are some of the seminal comics works Alan Moore has graced the world with. Grant Morrison spent five years telling the story of The Invisibles. Both have done much, much more than I’ve listed and you have to whole internet right there to find out, you lazy fuck. They’ve both got something of a pedigree, in case you aren’t familiar.
There is also THE FEUD. Alan Moore doesn’t like Grant Morrison. At least that was the impression given for a long time and the best you could say was Moore wasn’t a fan. Then an interview with Pádraig Ó Méalóid, claiming to be Moore’s last, swatted the internet in the buttocks a few days ago. And my, my did it get a squealy reaction. Moore hates, hates, hates, hates, HATES, HATES, FUCKIN’ HATES Grant Morrison. With a side order of hate**.
My understanding is that Grant Morrison, again, until recently wasn’t entirely in love with Alan Moore either. Again, this changed with an interview at the end of 2012 conducted by Laura Sneddon in which he showed some consternation and confusion about the tension between himself and Alan Moore, as well as the timeline and events†.
The comics internet was shaken to its core and turned a lot of people into fuckin’ Twilight fans – turning into Team Moore and Team Morrison with all the ridiculously juvenile and noxious bullshit that entails. Seriously I’m embarrassed for the comics community (and some of the industry) for the way this whole business has been treated. Them and us isn’t a healthy attitude in relation to a personal conflict like this, no matter if the participants want you to do it‡. It’s human nature to leap on a flaw of someone you aren’t enamoured with§, but I do wish more people, people who oughtta know better would take a step back and use the mushy grey stuff in their skulls. Oh, and engage the empathy bone. Essentially a lot of Forest Whitaker eye going on – and there was enough of that anyway.
So, it’s turned into a complete fucking mess with people making arseholes of themselves on either side of the argument. Though there have been some islands of sanity and sense in this lake of bubbling vitriol.
I was going to compare and possibly contrast their accounts of Morrison’s and Moore’s ongoing relationship, because relationship is what it is, one based on verbal swipes through intermediaries. It’s not a pleasant relationship, but there is a connection and it’s something they need to work out between them, without the braying peanut gallery of the internet inciting more from them, something that’s been absent from historical literary feuds. Looking at the two interviews (the Morrison one being a weirdly editorial affair with him adding changes in red and everything) it seems so tangled and twisted I’d just find myself in knots about them. It invites another one of those Can-Can moments, I’m afraid.
So, as I’ve written this, with an eye for looking at the affair, I find myself being distracted and disheartened by something that’s bothered me about the comics community for a long time: the vocal minority of arseholes it engenders. The unwelcoming trolls and ogres who have set themselves up at the gates of the community judging who is worthy, grovelling at the feet of people in the industry while preparing knives to hamstring and hack apart those same individuals. Seeing industry figures jumping in on this behaviour just makes me stand back in confusion and go, “Huh.”
There’s an ingrained aggression in the comics community. Nothing wrong with aggression, it creates energy and drives artistic expression. It’s when this aggression gets redirected at inappropriate sources like women, gays, creators and each other it’s done with all the grisly violence of a troop of chimps taking a baby, and it’s about as brutal and upsetting as that image conjures. It’s what taints the medium for people outside of it. And there’s a lot of writing on this behaviour, particularly the shameful treatment of women (and in the last year, incidentally, of women in the games industry), and I’m not the best source for it.
So what do we do about this handsy uncle no one talks about part of the comics community? Well we start talking about it, we engage it; see if we can change something about it. Not an easy task for the spittle-chinned glaring bastard, threatening us with death and rape, but in this case robust discussion needs to take place. Because (clumsily switching metaphors) cancer doesn’t go away by ignoring it. Treatment, that’s the thing.
It might not be so bad if the industry side of the didn’t foment it and encourage it. Pandering to the lowest members of a rich community is not the way to keep it alive–
Stop acting like cocks, is what I’m saying.
Fucking hell, that’s all it boils down to: stop acting like cocks. Think about what you’re going to say before you launch into a venomous tirade or write yet another story objectifying women and consider, perhaps there’s another way. Being a cock gets you attention but it fucks up the whole place for everyone else. This doesn’t mean disagreements aren’t going to happen, but perhaps it will create discourse a bit better than, “Youre a fucking fagot fucktard,” and it means we can have industry characters who aren’t misogynistic, homophobic narcissists.
Of course, yes, I’ll do the obligatory it’s only a minority of the community who behaves that way. And I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true, however it would be nicer if it were a dwindling minority. Let them be as vocal as they want, too, then we know who they are and point out to those who don’t know, that’s not the way to behave.
So, what was going to be a sticking my oar in to an argument I have nothing to do with (albeit, I was doing it dispassionately, with a hint of humour§§ and adopting the middle ground) has turned into a small attempt at weakening the hold on the comics community of the sweaty arsehole element. I think that’s in the territory of ‘win’, don’t you?
Now I’ll shut up for a few days.
* Y’know despite this little nugget of internet obscurity having an academic bent. Or it was.
** He’s no fan of Laura Sneddon, either, but that’s for someone else to blether about.
† The Alan Moore interview can be found here: Last Alan Moore Interview? this is a long article. The Grant Morrison interview can be found here: The Strange Case of Alan Moore and Grant Morrison, as Told by Grant Morrison. I so wish these interviews had happened closer together. No doubt by next week there’ll be a new Morrison one.
‡ Which Alan Moore does and it disappointed me. Perhaps it was point-making hyperbole, but it’s so easy to misunderstand. And people did, wilfully and enthusiastically.
§ I’m guilty of it myself and it drives my wife nuts. Doesn’t mean I condone it.
§§ “Y’whut?” I hear you cry. Cunts.
Will
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Swirly-whirly.
Oh shit, look out. They're moving around – reshuffling as they like to call it. Another chapter in the current cycle of Torygeddon started up again this week with MPs coming back from the summer recess and David Cameron shouting, "Change places!" showing, again that his medication isn't at all up to snuff.
The reshuffle itself is pretty much inconsequential, we've still got the same collection of dead-eyed mutant entitled arse shavings that we had before MPs were moved into different seats. Yes, some of the people put in place will allow the PM to do what he wants that little bit more easily. Like, for example, strapping on his Edward Scissorhands gloves and flailing at the NHS and the welfare state, because poor people shouldn't be allowed the security and health that he's never had to worry about. The two institutions are, in England at least*, already bloody and torn messes. That's okay because, idealogue ole Davey-wavey-scumbag doesn't see anything wrong with damaging the people who actually do the grunt work in the country.
Gideon Osborne still resides on his throne as Chancellor of the Exchequer, replete with giant butt plug, sans lube, to make sure he maintains the look of a man who's thirty seconds away from shitting himself with glee or dismissing peasants to go and work in the mines. He doesn't care what mines, any mines, arsenic mines that have been closed for decades, just as long as their in mines, that's where the poor (read non-millionaires) belong.
It amused me to hear about Osborne being booed at the Paralympics the other day. Look at that gommy motherfucker, he doesn't even have the decency to look ashamed of himself for the mess he and the rest of the government have left people with disabilities in. The man's clearly had some kind of shame bypass, which isn't a huge shock, how else can you account for him going out of the house with a face like that for all these years.
Cameron's not even pretending the Lib Dems have got any kind of sway any more. He's just moved more Tory ghouls from one place to another. Lots of nasty pieces of work like Jeremy Hunt as health secretary, who was under investigation for his handling of News Corp's dodgy bid to buy BSkyB and is known to be against the NHS, stem cell research and anti-abortion. Wonder what he'll be doing then. Whatever it is, I bet it won't involve any lube and will end up with lots of people with worse or no health care.
Then there's this cunt, Chris Grayling who cheated the system for £127,000 of expenses and has now been put in charge of the Department of Work and Pensions. Just the person to look after the benefits of the most vulnerable in our society. Let me reiterate that for those who nodded off: another very rich man who will happily fuck the system to get even more money and will shit on people will virtually nothing, from a great height. I think that sums it up nicely.
And let's not forget the nice, tolerant Maria Miller, who's been made minister of equality. A woman who's so into her equality that she's voted against gay rights issues on numerous occasions. She's minister for EQUALITY. Do we see a problem here? David Cameron clearly doesn't as he's happy to have this intolerant dolt in the position. He might as well just set the Catholic church up in an equality council.
That's only a small selection of the horrible bastards the Prime Minister has put in place to screw the country over that little bit more. And old Nick Clegg and the rest of his party look on with happy grins, letting all this happen. Thanks, Nick you spineless scrap of junk sperm.
So here we are, in the early part of the twenty-first century, governed by a regressive bunch of over privileged shits** pulling bits from the country's infrastructure like the highest-stakes game of Jenga in the world. Fucking cunts.
* I will reiterate that I'm Scottish, but it doesn't mean I'm happy about this shit going down.
** Or partially in my case. Scotland's devolved government gives us a buffer against the fuckers.
Will
The reshuffle itself is pretty much inconsequential, we've still got the same collection of dead-eyed mutant entitled arse shavings that we had before MPs were moved into different seats. Yes, some of the people put in place will allow the PM to do what he wants that little bit more easily. Like, for example, strapping on his Edward Scissorhands gloves and flailing at the NHS and the welfare state, because poor people shouldn't be allowed the security and health that he's never had to worry about. The two institutions are, in England at least*, already bloody and torn messes. That's okay because, idealogue ole Davey-wavey-scumbag doesn't see anything wrong with damaging the people who actually do the grunt work in the country.
Gideon Osborne still resides on his throne as Chancellor of the Exchequer, replete with giant butt plug, sans lube, to make sure he maintains the look of a man who's thirty seconds away from shitting himself with glee or dismissing peasants to go and work in the mines. He doesn't care what mines, any mines, arsenic mines that have been closed for decades, just as long as their in mines, that's where the poor (read non-millionaires) belong.
It amused me to hear about Osborne being booed at the Paralympics the other day. Look at that gommy motherfucker, he doesn't even have the decency to look ashamed of himself for the mess he and the rest of the government have left people with disabilities in. The man's clearly had some kind of shame bypass, which isn't a huge shock, how else can you account for him going out of the house with a face like that for all these years.
Cameron's not even pretending the Lib Dems have got any kind of sway any more. He's just moved more Tory ghouls from one place to another. Lots of nasty pieces of work like Jeremy Hunt as health secretary, who was under investigation for his handling of News Corp's dodgy bid to buy BSkyB and is known to be against the NHS, stem cell research and anti-abortion. Wonder what he'll be doing then. Whatever it is, I bet it won't involve any lube and will end up with lots of people with worse or no health care.
Then there's this cunt, Chris Grayling who cheated the system for £127,000 of expenses and has now been put in charge of the Department of Work and Pensions. Just the person to look after the benefits of the most vulnerable in our society. Let me reiterate that for those who nodded off: another very rich man who will happily fuck the system to get even more money and will shit on people will virtually nothing, from a great height. I think that sums it up nicely.
And let's not forget the nice, tolerant Maria Miller, who's been made minister of equality. A woman who's so into her equality that she's voted against gay rights issues on numerous occasions. She's minister for EQUALITY. Do we see a problem here? David Cameron clearly doesn't as he's happy to have this intolerant dolt in the position. He might as well just set the Catholic church up in an equality council.
That's only a small selection of the horrible bastards the Prime Minister has put in place to screw the country over that little bit more. And old Nick Clegg and the rest of his party look on with happy grins, letting all this happen. Thanks, Nick you spineless scrap of junk sperm.
So here we are, in the early part of the twenty-first century, governed by a regressive bunch of over privileged shits** pulling bits from the country's infrastructure like the highest-stakes game of Jenga in the world. Fucking cunts.
* I will reiterate that I'm Scottish, but it doesn't mean I'm happy about this shit going down.
** Or partially in my case. Scotland's devolved government gives us a buffer against the fuckers.
Will
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