Friday 10 January 2014

Retro Money's Still Money, Boys.

I own a PS3.  Nothing remarkable there – that’s me and about sixty-four million other people, then.  When I’m not being terrible on some online game or another, I like to go browsing through the Playstation Store.  Like most people I do a little rooting around for new DLC and perhaps some new game that might be good to have a look at.  This can make my poor hard drive unhappy and my struggling bank account look nervous.  Seriously, my bank account is a worried entity, constantly sweating and sending me pathetically worded letters pleading for me to stop spending money.

Much of the time I don’t buy anything, but come away with some ideas for games I might want to buy in the future and be awful at.  Sometimes, though, I feel a tiny bit disappointed.  I get the feeling that there are games that should be in the Playstation Store, but don’t make an appearance for one reason or another.  Old games.  Though, not that old – my first computer was a ZX Spectrum +2 and just about any game I might want from that era is easy to get through emulators and such.  The old games I’m talking about are ones that I played on the PS One and Saturn back in the heady days when I wasn’t crippled by poverty.

They do have some PS One (and PS2) games in the store and my wife was very pleased to get a hold of Theme Hospital a while back.  She got hours of fun out of that; it was great.  Something bugged me, though.  I’ve got Resident Evil: The Director’s Cut, though it seems that the Saturn version of the game has been expunged from the history books.  There were lots of titles that maybe should have been present, but there was no sign of them.  Like someone had been blindfolded, spun around in a room full of game titles and those they stumbled on were the games chosen for the store.

I remember getting quite excited when I saw that Golden Axe was available for purchase and then almost cry-vomited when I discovered it was the crummy Mega Drive version.  I wanted the arcade version I remember sucking my ten pences up like some kind of ten pence devourer when I was ten or eleven or twelve!  What’s wrong with that?  Why can’t we get similar stuff to what’s on XBox Live Arcade, I cried through the few, errant, chunks of eye-corn.  I haven’t bought Golden Axe, but I still felt cheated.  How dare they stop me in the desperate and intricate attempt to recreate my childhood?  No, I’m not going to buy an XBox for that one thing, didn’t you read the first paragraph – I’m poor; it’s a fucking miracle I have a PS3.

There’s no R-Type, either.  A game I possessed on the Spectrum and then, some years later, when I had a PS One for a short time.  I’m not very good at it, but it’s a fun little shooter and can whittle a few minutes of boredom.  And it’s not an unpopular game.  There are screeds of fond gamer memories about the little blue starfighter that could.  Yet it’s not there.  Sure, there could be rights problems, but given the money Sony could make by making the game available that’s something that could be recouped.

Then there’s the little game, Dark Cloud, that I spent too many hours playing in even more recent times.  I don’t think it would kill them to give this an airing on Playstation Store.  If only just to salve my hurting nostalgia bone.

A game that might be less likely to turn up is Exhumed, an FPS in which you’re pitted against aliens that formed the basis of ancient Egyptian mythology.  There was a PS One version of this and I’m sure it would be seen as a retro treat.  Though, I have to admit, I had the Saturn version of the game that was considered far superior.  What do you reckon the chances are of that one appearing on Sony’s shop front?  A clue: non-existent.  That’s one I imagine trying to overcome licensing wrangles wouldn’t be worth the effort.  It’s nice to dream though.

And, really that’s all this is, in the end, dream upon dream.  There is money to be made in dusting down these retro gems and many more on top of that, but it’s whether Sony, or anyone else thinks the reward is enough that will determine if they are unearthed again.


Will

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